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“So the other day I was at a grocery store and this lady pissed me off, I received bad news, right before I got stuck in traffic and my head was spinning, I was ___________ “yeah fill in the blank, because it happens. We all reach a point, sometimes daily, where our happiness shifts from cupcake mode to liver pie. We accept that life isn’t always going to be rainbows and drag queens, but what we don’t realize is that it can be. I mean we really could be this happy person, all the time. I am not just writing this blog to someone who is always sad or depressed or has anger issues, I’m writing this blog for normal (Get out my way slow poke) people, people who deal with everyday stress, everyday frustrations. But, if you are depressed and you aren’t looking to take meds (like I decided at one point in my life) then I hope you get something out of this post. 🙂
Before we get into the how to part, I wanna tell you a story that I made up, because let’s face it, for some odd reason, fiction is easier to accept than the truth. Okay so here’s my story: There’s this single mom writing out her grocery list and let’s say she’s watching the show “coupon moms” or whatever is out there for those of us who love to save money. She writes her list specifically for what she needs and what she can afford. She grabs her purse and her chanclas (flip flops) and shouts out to her 5 year old son, “Get yo shoes on boy, we need to get food!” They get in the car and they get to the parking lot of Walmart, she turns around and tells the boy, “Now baby, remember, I’m going in and getting out, I’m not getting you a new toy, I’m not getting you a water gun, I’m getting the food (maybe one candy if your good) and that’s It!” Little boy says, “cool.” So you know exactly where this story is going, so let’s continue… Mom is going through the isles and scratching stuff off her fancy list, and she accidentally walks pass the toy gun isle. OH NOoooooooooooo! And of course without evening turning in that isle, they bump right into a huge gun display in the walking area (of course they do, it’s marketing baby). Anyways, her little angel (not) grabs a gun and shouts out “It’s only $1247 dollars, you have enough money, right?!” The End.
Ha, JK, now in this moment the mom has two choices that she thinks to herself, “Do I yank his arm out his socket or do I ignore him and walk away looking like a cherry tree?”
Now here’s the part where I don’t even tell you what she should do, because I rather just ask questions. In order to figure out how to be happy, we must first figure out where happiness comes from. Once we figure out where happiness comes from than we know how to reach in there and grab it all the time. Where does happiness come from? (Don’t answer, yet)
Let’s say you grab a microphone and you hire a camera man and you walk up and down the streets of downtown Dallas, you come across business executives, homeless people, stay at home moms, and college students, and you ask them a simple question… “What makes you happy?” I almost guarantee you that a majority of people would say: “My Family”, “My Job”, “My Porsche”, “My Freedom”, “God”, “The laughter of my child”. You are probably thinking, yes, my family does make me happy and my cat too, so what? And you’re absolutely right, these things do make you happy, calm down. But let’s play with this real quick, to take it a step further, it’s really that you have attached the feeling of happiness to these things.
You see, HAPPINESS doesn’t come from a family, freedom, job, or money. Why? Because at any moment you could lose your job, lose your family, or end up in jail. Happiness comes from the feeling you get when you have these things.
What? What you say bout my momma? I saiiiiiid, Happiness comes from the feelings you get when you have these things. God created happiness, but just knowing about GOD doesn’t mean you will be happy everyday. Happiness comes from the feelings you have when you have these things. (broken record) If happiness comes from feelings that must mean that my feelings create happiness, right? Yes, you got it. When you add 1 plus 1 you must get two. Your feelings plus your decision equals happiness. *That equation spelled out differently is: My feeling of appreciation plus my decision to appreciate any and everything, equals, happiness. 🙂 + 🙂 = Happy
The mother in the grocery store decided to appreciate what she does have and felt thankful to have it. She turned her mind set into happiness, because she didn’t attach happiness to money. So whenever she has little money, her happiness doesn’t subtract. Even when she had the option to feel embarrassed by what her son was saying, she was thankful for having a son to be embarrassed by.
We should all attach appreciation to everything (and I mean every little thing) we have so that happiness comes from the feeling of appreciation instead of coming from the actual thing. Because if we attach happiness to people, places, or things, than at any moment our happiness can be taken from us. And I’ll be damn if someone comes up in here and takes my happiness away.
Here are a few examples of finding appreciation in everything:
Remember when playing this game, you can always add on reasons of appreciation to anything, the more you do this the happier you will be. Attaching the feeling of appreciation to every little thing in your life brings you endless reasons to be happy.
How do you the make the best of a situation that you are not happy about? How in the world do you find the best in something that doesn’t feel like the best it can be? Is this statement even possible? Why is it that when you complain about something like your job, your rent, your relationship, your mother in law, do people always say, “Well you just got to make the best of it.”? Why are people making you feel guilty for complaining? Damn bastards. (JK) The reason is purely simple and I will explain how to do this instantly. The reason why people say “Just make the best of it.” is because they want you to be happy with what you have, no matter how miserable it is. The reality of any situation is that there is always something to be thankful for. And if you truly are thankful for something, this becomes more than just coping with it, and therefore you no longer have to feel miserable in it.
Coping with something is laziness to me, because you don’t ever have to settle. Being content with what is in your reach, gives you the ability to reach further and eventually create a reality of what you desire. (More on this later) Let’s continue…
So the moral of the story is making the best of what you have, but you don’t feel good about it, so how does that add up? Well let me be specific because nothing ever explained to me in “mumbo jumbo” ever makes sense to me, so I don’t expect it to make sense to you. Here are some examples of miserable scenarios and how to make the best of them:
Say for example you hate your job. You hate many things about it like it’s not fulfilling enough, it doesn’t give me the kind of money I want, it isn’t what I thought it would be, it’s stressful, etc. Okay now how do I instantly love my job? I wrote a list out of what I liked, it started off small but the more I thought about it and the benefits of my job, the more I realized how much of a bad ass job I really have. So first I said, well the job is boring to me, I’ve been doing this work for so many years, and I want more from this job. This maybe true, but I do have the free time to write my blog, think of ideas of what my future job will be like, and these thoughts make me happy instantly. I also realized that a couple years ago, I worked in downtown and I had to pay $5 a day for parking and when I got to my “uncovered” parking spot in the middle of July, it took a few minutes to let the heat out the car. Now I park in a FREE covered parking garage just steps out of the front door. That extra $25 a week sure comes in handy and I actually like the people I work with. Now I’m getting some where. So I began writing these reasons in a more in depth description. Why do I like the people I work with? Well, they allow me to plan our company events and they are not annoying, they are fun and when they are not complaining about something, they actually do make me laugh. Good, keep going…Everyone at my job minds their own business and I have the freedom to take lunch at whatever time I want (which I never had before) and even if they don’t participate in the activities I created, they are starting to ask for me to plan more things. Doing this exercise has begun to shift my mood about my job. I began to feel better about my job for what it is. So start here on writing what you do like and more of what you do like will continue to come your way.
Example #2- Say you want a new partner/spouse and you haven’t been able to find them. You may complain that your Sundays are lonely or you just want someone at home waiting for you to come home. Many reasons why people want companionship, and writing down what you want only helps you create that exact thing, so write it down. Anyways, think about what you have in the relationship you have with yourself. Right at this moment have the freedom to pick what’s for dinner. You have the luxury of using the restroom with the door open. You get to pick your favorite show on Netflix without any hesitation. If you go on vacation tomorrow, you decide where you want to go. You get more time to yourself to think about what you want in the partner you know with all your heart is coming your way. Before I was in the relationship I am in now, I used to imagine what my future partner would be like. I even wrote a list in my head of this person. I wanted him to be a best friend, someone that I could be my complete self around and I didn’t have to be ashamed of anything. I rarely wrote a list about silly things that are not timeless, what I mean is, I rarely said I wanted him to have no kids, or dress this way, or make this kind of money, I merely focused on what I knew would bring me joy in this relationship. Begin being grateful for the time you have to yourself, and figure out what small tiny little details you would want to see in someone that you want to build a life with. Many of those details I remember focusing on pop up in the personality of the guy I’m with now, it’s like I created him the way I wanted him, but I didn’t have to do any of the work. The mind is a powerful tool in creating what you want, so use it.
Example #3 How to make the best of a money situation. You (myself included) complain you don’t have enough money to pay All of your bills, or you don’t have enough money to take that vacation you’ve been wanting, or you probably could use a new BMW but most likely that isn’t gonna happen anytime soon, so you sit there with just the desire. What you really want is a solution to this madness and that has to come from you! This won’t come from having the winning lottery ticket, because that’s only giving yourself one option on how this can happen. You must create an unlimited amount of options by being content with the many options you have now. First start with writing down what you are able to pay for with the money you already have. For me this is simple, I am able to pay for my rent, my car note, groceries, internet, body wash, my sons’ boxing classes, my iphone and books. And yes, these are things we need to pay for, not what we desire to pay for, but in order to pay for our desires we must learn to have an attitude of appreciation for what we do have. If you are homeless, laid off, or have no money, start writing down the things you do have. You apparently have access to read this blog, right? You have air to breathe and eyes to read, right? Well than, start there. If you examine the reason behind the things you want, you will notice that they are the same reasons you already have now.
Let’s say you want to take a family vacation to Disney world, good times, and you ask yourself, “Why do I want this vacation so badly?”. The answer is, “I want to build memories for my kids, and I want to see them smile and laugh and having a great time.” Well, don’t you see a smile on their face every time you take them to Marble Slab? Don’t you hear them laughing when they watch an episode of Sponge Bob? Yes, yes, of course I do, so really you get to have those same exact reasons right now without going to Disney World. Make sense? Okay, well in order to bring more of these happy moments in your life, you must begin focusing on these moments in the present moment. 🙂 And like I wrote in Example #1, the more you live happy in the moment that is in front of you, the more of these happy moments will start finding you.
I will continue writing examples of how to make the best of any situation in my blogs to come, but always remember that making the best of any situation is to live in the moment for what it really is, and not to focus on the way you want it to be.
I hate to wait in line, I hate to wait for my friends to get ready to go out, I hate to wait in traffic at the school drop off, and I even hate waiting for my potato soup to cool down before taking my first sip, so how in the world does GOD expect me to wait for big blessings? Maybe he likes to torture us? LOL, I doubt it. I mean God did give us life and he does love us unconditionally, so why the hold up?
We’ve all felt that tingly feeling when we said these five little words: “It was worth the wait”, but why else should waiting be just as important as the blessing itself? I think we all should recognize what we are doing during the waiting period. What actions do we take when waiting for God to bless us and how have these actions helped us in the future?
I remember many times I would say my prayers before I go to sleep, but I rarely ask God to bless my journey and even though I know he’s preparing for me what he already has for me, I forget about that, all I can think of is that “I’m waaiiiting”.
I recently read in a devotional that the waiting period should be exciting, we should be excited that life is about to get crazy and God is about to turn things up! But we don’t, we get stuck in the moment of wanting more, and we get anxious! Everyday we live we should be preparing, even if we have prepared so much, we can never be too prepared for what he has planned for us. So go ahead and ask the question… What should we be doing in our waiting period?
Oh okay, thanks for asking!
I am writing this post from pure hopelessness, I’m yearning for my long lost love, and I want nothing more than to take this pain away…. it’s just that I, I miss the shit out of some chips! To live in a world where chips don’t exist is like not living at all. If loving chips is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. You had me at “Ruffles.” I don’t care what kind of chips they are, it’s hard not to stare one right in the face and not grab it. Hot cheetos, Ruffles, Sour Cream Lays, Salsa garden Sun Chips, don’t you dare walk pass me with your deliciousness!
Is there something in your life you know you just need to give up? A toxic relationship, a bad habit, out of control spending, perhaps a smelly pair of sneakers? Anything?
It’s been two weeks since I gave these crispity creatures the boot, and although I feel like a champ for doing so, my heart is still crying out for them. Have you ever felt like giving up on something you worked so hard for, only because you get lost in the moment of the struggle? I have! And right around 2pm I start thinking about why I decided to give up chips in the first place. I try to convenience myself that this could in fact be the single most dumbest decision I have ever made. But like they say, once you have reached your goal you forget about the constant struggle and just enjoy the outcome. Who’s they? Wait, why are you asking me for? I can only wrap my brain around a big bag of Funyuns right about now.
Anyways, like I was saying, it’s hard to think about the process and it’s so easy to want to give up, but we can’t. There comes a time in your life where all you want to do is be a better you, and going through the motions is just a part of growing up. The main reason why I keep going is because I can see progress, but think about the people that don’t see any progress and have to rely strictly on Faith. If you are trying to overcome something, keep your mind focused on the reasons why you are fighting to begin with. Imagine yourself already in the “Success Stage” and keep your self optimistic through the “Pushing stage”.
Sure chips are little crisps of heaven and if I died right now and reached the gates of heaven I would ask Jesus if they had chips in queso in there, but the reasons for giving them up are so much more important to me. What is important to you? What are the reasons for giving something up in the first place? This should be your main focus, concentrate on what your life will look like 30 days from the day you have reached your goal, that’s the life you worked so hard for and I promise you the struggle will become a distant memory.
Happy “Drop that bag of chips” DAY!
I don’t know if it’s a mid-life crisis or if I am finally getting to understand myself more, but I realized that I do more of what I don’t like and less of what I do. It all came to me when I was researching some interview tips to help prepare me for an interview for a job I don’t even like doing. Anyways, in my research it was suggested that I take a personality test. Now I remember taking one in high school right before I graduated and I thought to myself, “How can this test determine what I would like to do with my life, when I don’t even know what I want to do?” Well, I guess I should have paid attention.
15 years later… that test was right, I really do like communicating with people, art, travel, and writing. I’ve spent the past 10 years in an admin role and spent most of my days day dreaming. I wonder what it’s like for those who pay attention to themselves more, some how the days of being a mother and paying my bills became my life. Most of us do what we think is expected of us and if you have kids, then you do what you can for them. We make it a point to put them first and our responsibilities first, but what if it was a “responsibility” to put our wants and desires first? Well it should be, and let us make that decision today.
It’s the American dream to follow your dreams, and I can’t wait to get lost in it.
If you’re curious about a career change, if you want to bring meaning to your day to day tasks, if you feel like you could actually enjoy doing what you do, then I suggest you start reading between the lines of your happiness. If taking a silly personality test is what it takes to get that bulb burning, or if you need to do a self evaluation, than do it! I know for a fact no one was created equal and although the world wants us all to function the same, we simply do not work that way. Pay attention to what tickles your pickle and open the jar!
For kicks, I’m including a quick but cute little personality quiz and I’m posting my results. Don’t laugh! I did want to become an actress when I was younger and this test proves it, LOL.
Click on : Personality Tests
then Click: Type Test
It takes 2 minutes, and have fun reading the results.
ENTP = Me 🙂
Percentage of total population: 5%
Creative, inventors of new products or experiences.
Likely to exhibit Type A behavior.
Always looking to rise to the challenge.
If you didn’t grow up as a Christian or you really aren’t sure (like most people) as to why the church needs your money since they can get the hook up from GOD, then I encourage you to read this post. My church did a series recently called “The Tipping Point” a series about what it takes to tip the scales in your life. The series made so much sense to me, I just had to share it! How can we expect GOD to do miracles in our lives if we can’t even trust him a little? A little meaning, bringing your 10 % to your local church as an act of obedience, worship, and gratitude.
The series asked us to participate in a 90-day tithing challenge and guaranteed us that within those 90-days we would watch how GOD was going to do incredible things in those 3 months. Now the first thing I thought to myself was, “Ugh hello, I love incredible things”, and the second thing was being the Aries that I am, I was like “Challenge Accepted!” Who doesn’t love a good challenge?
Anyways, I don’t need to go into statistics here, but we all know that there is more middle class people in America than filthy rich people and MOST OF US are working to either make ends meet or to live a normal life, because let’s face it, no one works because they are bored. So talking about money is definitely worth talking about, right? Exactly, so what do you have to do to get more blessings?
6 reasons why you should tithe
1. The Bibles says it, so do it!– “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops.” Proverbs 3:9
2. Obedience– This word sounds so demanding, but it really isn’t, it’s really very humbling. Our obedience shows God that we want him to mold us up the way he wants us to be, not what we think we should be. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10
3. It’s better to give, than to receive. Sounds Cliche? – God gave us his only son, that’s a lot to give up, Don’t you think? But more importantly, when we tithe to our local church, that money is being used to save others, what better gift to give, than a life? And they said you could never save a life, but you are, and you’re no doctor!
4. Trust – So many want to know they can truly trust someone, they want to know someone has their back when they need them, but if you can’t trust GOD, seriously, who can you trust? Bringing the tithe is not only being obedient, it’s trusting the Lord with the little you got. It is impossible to have faith, if you don’t have doubt, so trust him with only 10% and allow him to show you what he can do with that 90%. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.” Proverbs 3:5-6
5. Change the game– If things aren’t working in your favor, if that promotion passed you up, or the love of your life hasn’t started following you on twitter, is there something you could be doing to bring these blessings to you? Tithing is just bringing money that belongs to God, back to GOD, he obviously don’t need your money, he’s living it up in the Kingdom of Heaven, he just wants you to show him you want to live a better life too.
6. Bragging Rights- “No one likes a bragger”, says my step-son (LOL). But no one judges you if you brag about what God has done in your life. Start tithing today, and soon you will have a story to brag about to tell someone else! You never know how your obedience can change the obedience in someone’s life.
In case your wondering…. I’m on month #2 in my 90-day challenge and well let’s just say, I got a new place to live, I overcame financial struggles, I am Healthy, I’m happy and I’m optimistic of what blessings are to come. I don’t count every blessing everyday, because there is too much to count, but I am thankful for what God has been doing and will continue to do in my life.
** If you have any stories of blessings, please share them!
Wait a minute, wait a T-25 minute, who said you had to toss old stuff like a french fry in your car seat cushion? Not me, that’s who. Some of the best things in life are free, and I mean BEST.
So I just moved into a cute rental in the North Oak Cliff area (Go ahead and spell it out if you know where I’m from), anyways, I was in need of some furniture and decor (bad). It’s a working progress, but so far I’ve been able to collect the most random pieces. Since I had no real theme going on, I decided to research DIY ideas and play with what I got. Remember when I said “Free is good” well, Free Knowledge is the bomb! One of my favorite things in this world is knowledge and the lovely internet gave me just that. I figured out how to make some sexy decor makeovers!
I’m so excited about my freedom in shopping for the ugly and making it make sense in my home that I am going to continue this venture even after I re-decorate my place. I am including some pics below, but just so you know, this prob won’t be the last post I upload on this topic. It’s been fun and it’s just the beginning…
What is the one thing that you spend your whole life chasing? The one thing you spend years in school to make more of? The one thing you lose sleep over, the one thing that tears marriages apart, the one thing that makes you feel powerful when you have a lot of it or no one when you don’t? What’s crazy is that I don’t even have to say what I’m talking about, you already know, because even as a child you learn the value and importance of money. It really never occurs to us that money is just paper, it does not bring you happiness, it does not define who you are or who you will become, and yet sometimes we literally focus our entire lives around it.
There are people who do unspeakable things for this kind of paper, sell drugs that they know will hurt people, sell their bodies (your temple) for this paper and teach our kids that in life we measure our success by how much of this paper we have. Paper! Like seriously, something so ridiculous as paper has us going coo coo for cocoa puffs! I would love to hear what people have done to get this paper, change who they are for this paper, judge others by this paper, and although you can’t take it with you when you go, some of us die trying to get this paper. Everything you hear and see tells us that we have to have it to survive, and this maybe true but you most definitely don’t need it live a good life.
I’m no financial expert, and some days I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader, but it’s been pretty easy figuring out that money has never given me anything meaningful in my life. Money didn’t give me good health, it hasn’t been the source of my children’s laughter, I didn’t use money to buy my awesome boyfriend, and I’ve never had to use money to learn about the truth of God’s love for me. So why in the hell would I let it interfere with all the things I don’t need it for? Because if I want to keep it real, I would have to say that money has changed my mood. When I’ve been running low on my dough, things change! It shouldn’t be this way, we are people not animals, we have so much to be thankful for, but most importantly our time on earth is temporary so something as silly as money shouldn’t influence our moods or actions.
We all know that money doesn’t grow on trees but neither do you, you one of a kind you, so put more value into the things that are worth putting value into. Let’s not give money a value, let’s pretend that money is a necessity just as much as taking a shower is. It’s something that makes you feel polished just like soap and just like soap, money can’t you make you a better person, it might make you smell better, but that’s about it. I make a pledge today that I will not ever say I don’t have enough money for this or that, I have enough of what is of value to me and money, baby, sure at it! 😉
I suppose you can become jaded over anything you have grown tired of , it can be your soon to be ex gym sneakers, or just about anything that has caused you to have multiple negative experiences. I just feel as if too many people have become jaded when it comes to Love and that’s no bueno. Look I’m no stranger to being hurt in this department and even though I saw my parents split and my mom’s heart broken a few times, I still felt it was impossible for ALL men to be the same. My reasoning is simple, GOD doesn’t make repeats, it’s just not his G-Style. In fact, GOD does the complete opposite, so I would feel like a straight douche bag if I categorized ALL men based on a few bad experiences I’ve had.
“All men are the same.” – Senorita Jaded
These bad experiences have given me knowledge and with knowledge comes great responsibility. Is it possible that people need to take responsibility for their feelings instead of dismissing them all together? If you go into a relationship expecting to get cheated on or get hurt, chances are that’s what you will get. “I’m cool with that”, so they say, but are they? I mean if you really don’t expect nothing but disappointment than why was Love created in the first place? Did GOD create Love just to tease us? Love, like anything else in this world, requires hard work. I doubt any CEO of any company worked long hours just to expect to never move up the corporate ladder, so if that’s the case why isn’t Love treated like anything worth working for?
The influential power that “disappointment” has on someone is… mind blowing. For someone to really expect, with certainty, that something will ALWAYS be one way and no other, is confusing to me. My question to those who have become jaded, has always been this, “Is it easier to expect the same old thing, than it is to accept that you just haven’t seen it yet?” If your answer is Y-E-S, than my response is, “That’s exactly what being Jaded is, taking the easy way.” It’s easier to expect disappointment to avoid being hurt (key word: easier) than it is to accept being hurt and understand that not ALL experiences are the same. But in all honesty, wouldn’t feeling hurt override not feeling anything at all? At least when you get hurt, you grow and become stronger, when you feel nothing, it’s the recipe to getting nothing, and I don’t know about you but no one likes getting nothing! Tell that to Christmas morning.
I have given my best shot at many things in life, and I have many many failures on my resume, and although at that moment I couldn’t see the light, it doesn’t mean it’s not shining. It’s there, I just have to want to see it.
I’m no love expert, but what I can tell you is, “I seriously doubt All situations end up the same”, just because it hasn’t worked out yet, doesn’t mean it never will.